


Stage Me

by ChannelTheFlannel



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Actors, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Theatre, Asexual Character, Celebrities, F/F, F/M, Gay Male Character, LGBTQ Themes, Lesbian Character, M/M, POV Sirius Black, Writer Remus Lupin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-20
Updated: 2017-06-03
Packaged: 2018-09-01 03:31:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8605609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChannelTheFlannel/pseuds/ChannelTheFlannel
Summary: In which Sirius Black is an unsatisfied Hollywood actor and Remus Lupin is a gutsy playwright with a vision.





	1. Chapter 1

"No, Black! For the last time, you  _ cannot  _ break up with Marlene!"

"Please, Evans! It's too good of an opportunity to waste! And I bet you it'll make the front page!"

"For all the wrong reasons! It could ruin your career!"

Sirius let out a long sigh of protest and crossed his arms, turning away from his publicity manager. She was impossible to argue with, even though she usually knew best. He decided the best solution would be to distract (or annoy) her.

"James!" he wailed. "Your girlfriend is doing it again!"

"Doing what?" his best friend, James Potter, called from his bedroom down the hall.

"She's not letting me be gay!" Sirius exclaimed. It was a bit of an exaggeration, but the goal was to rile them all up.

"Lily!" James cried, sounding aghast, albeit muffled through the wall.

"Oh, come on," Lily growled, scowling unabashedly. "He can be as gay as he wants! He just can't dump his beard on Lockhart's bloody  _ talk show  _ and have  _ that _ be his coming out event!"

"So, can I come out at the award ceremony?" Sirius asked, waggling his eyebrows.

Lily groaned and buried her face in her hands. "You, Sirius Black, are the most ridiculous man I have ever encountered."

"That's why all those fans love him," James said through a yawn, stepping into the room. His hair was tousled and his shirt rumpled. Apparently, they had woken him.

"Good morning, you bum," Lily teased, smiling through her exasperation. 

_ Distraction successful,  _ thought Sirius, watching with a smirk as James bent over to give her a morning-mouth kiss.

She let out a  _ mmph!  _ of protest and shoved him off. "Potter, it's almost noon! Go brush your teeth," she ordered.

"I'd rather not," James confessed. He took her in with another kiss, and she barely protested this time.

"Why don't I head off and leave you two for your fun?" Sirius suggested. He had no intentions of watching his best friend snog his publicist, as pleased as he was to have set them up five months ago. He had other plans for the rest of his day.

Lily Evans, however, was determined if not anything else, and she wasn't about to let Sirius get away. She pulled away from her sleep-addled boyfriend to glare at them both.

"Not so fast, Black. I wasn't done with you yet."

He rolled his eyes and turned around, leaning against the doorframe. "Oh, sorry. I think I forgot what we were discussing," he lied, done with rattling over the subject for now.

"We were talking about your inherent homosexuality and how public you're to be about it," James said cheerfully. 

Entirely not helpful.

"Yes," said Lily, her eyes narrowing. "Specifically, we were discussing whether or not you maintain your public relationship with Marlene."

Sirius felt just about ready to explode.

"I'm tired of this, Lily," he grumbled, coming back into the room and plopping down on the couch next to her. James sat down on the other side of her.

"Of what? Holding a girl's hand when you have to be on camera?" Lily demanded, sounding all around done with the topic as well.

"Of lying!" he exclaimed bitterly. "You  _ know  _ that Marlene wants to go public with Dorcas. And  _ I _ happen to want a boyfriend."

James gave him a sympathetic look, and reached around Lily to pat him on the shoulder. "There, there. You know what they say: all's fair in fame and glory. Your job's worth not having a date, right?"

"That's  _ not  _ what they say," Sirius groused. "It's all's fair in love and war. And that is the statement I'd like to stick by. I'm tired of all this lying and hiding. I'll do whatever it takes if it means being  _ me." _

"Then you shouldn't have become an actor," Lily reminded him, though her voice had gone soft. She put a reassuring hand on his knee. "Listen, I'm sorry if I've sounded harsh. How about you break up with Marlene-- _ not  _ on the talk show--and then she can announce that she's really been dating Dorcas all along, and you just went with it to help her out. And then no one questions your sexuality."

"That's not exactly what I was asking for," Sirius pointed out, feeling deflated. " _ I  _ want to come out, too."

"You haven't anyone to come out  _ for _ !" James pointed out.

"That's not how it works, Jamie," he replied, scooting away from the two of them to the other end of the sofa. "You've never had to hide the fact that you liked women, even before you dated Lily."

"I suppose," James sighed, and he began staring at Lily with moons for eyes again.

She ignored him and looked intently at Sirius. "Listen to me, okay? I know how lovely it would be for you to have a boyfriend and all that, but you really don't have that luxury right now. You've a mostly female-based audience, and you being gay is going to make them angry that you're not available."

It was a spiel he had heard a thousand times before.

"And making them think I'm dating Marlene somehow makes me  _ available?"  _ he demanded crossly.

"They have a chance with you if you date women. If you date men, then they don't."

"Then let me tell them I'm fucking pansexual! I  _ don't care  _ about the fans, okay? I just want to stop pretending that I'm straight. It's  _ killing me."  _

"I know it is," Lily said softly, and she and James were both looking at him with the same sad stare. "But your film's just about to be released, and we need that to be successful if you want to be signed onto another big one anytime soon."

Sirius groaned, sick and tired of hearing the same things over again. "I don't want to listen to this right now," he said softly. He got up to leave again.

"Wait, Sirius," Lily called after him. "We'll work something out, okay? We want you to be happy, but you also have to consider your career. Once you're signed onto a proper contract, then we'll see what we can do about coming out."

He ignored her and made for the front door, almost forgetting that it was  _ his  _ house he was storming out of, and Lily was the visitor. That made it more awkward to try and ignore her, but he had to get ready before going on the talk show. He spun on his heel, glared at them, and marched past them to his own bedroom, where he would spend the next three or four hours brooding and making himself look good for Lockhart's show that evening.

He would have to pretend to be happy. He could do that. He was an actor, after all.

* * *

 

_ This Evening with Gilderoy Lockhart _

Lockhart: And now, we have our next guest, Sirius Black, who recently starred in the film  _ Westward.  _ Here's a clip before we bring him out.

[Screen shifts. A bleak snowscape is shown, with mountains rising in the distance. There is a single, ragged tent in the distance. As things come into focus, a dark form is seen trudging towards the tent. As it closes in, Sirius Black is revealed, haggard and unshaven and dressed in several layers of furs. He is breathing heavily over the sound of the wind as he moves closer to the tent. Finally, he arrives, and a burnt-out fire is next to it. He regards it for a moment, and then rips open the flap door of the tent. Inside, a dead body is sprawled out over the floor, blood trickling from the mouth. Black curses, and the scene fades to black.]

Lockhart: Wow, that was intense! Sirius Black, everybody!

[The band starts to play upbeat music, complete with trumpets and a saxophone. Sirius Black skips out from backstage, dressed in a black tuxedo, an exaggerated smile plastered on his face as he strides to meet Lockhart. They embrace quickly, and then sit down.]

Black: Hi, there.

Lockhart: Hello! It's been a while since you've been on my show. You were just starting up back then. Would you say your success has anything to do with me?

Black: No. [Scattered laughter in the audience]

Lockhart: Ouch, right where it hurts. Well, it's certainly wonderful to have you back on the show! What about that new film, eh? Pretty intense.

Black: [deadpan] I wouldn't know. I've forgotten all the lines already. [More laughter]

Lockhart: Oh, that's a good one. But seriously, Sirius--whoops, there's that pun again!--this film is, er,  _ serious _ . Dammit! [Audience erupts in laughter, Lockhart grins with satisfaction, Black glares intensely] Really, I'm trying not to say  _ that _ word. This film is more  _ somber  _ than what you normally do. I'm used to watching you in comedies, maybe a few action films. Would you call this a shift in your career?

Black: Oh, definitely. It's been a totally different experience from the comedies, but sometimes it felt like an action film. I mean, sans the major action, because most of the people in this film are already dead, so there's no one to fight. It's mostly about my character, Judas, struggling with the grief of losing everyone and learning how to survive on his own.

Lockhart: Very intense. Now, for those of you who don't know--and really, keep up with the times, people!-- _ Westward  _ is a story about a virus wiping out most of the world's population. Your character is, and correct me if I'm wrong, one of the last men on the planet, and he's trying to find any others left.

Black: [Nods gravely] And there's aliens. You can't forget the aliens.

Lockhart: [Laughs heartily] Of course, of course. It wouldn't be Sirius Black if there weren't something strange like that! Oh, I remember the last time you were here, you played a shapeshifter. What was that one called?

Black:  _ Fringes.  _ The whole thing was about me being able change into a fuzzy black dog named Padfoot. Bloody ridiculous, it was.

Lockhart: Oh, yes,  _ adorable,  _ you mean. You were so young then, just a little  _ starlet! _ How old? Sixteen? Seventeen? Ah, yes, I remember. It wasn't public back then, but you had just been disowned by your family, hadn't you? Barely grown and thrown on the street. [Tuts sadly, audience  _ awws _ ]

Black: [Turning grave] Yes. We disagreed on more than one front, and they were terrible to my brother and I anyway. I don't miss them. Besides, I have to thank them for it. I wouldn't be where I am today without them kicking me out like that. I'm better off. 

Lockhart: [smiles uneasily] Well, we all owe something to our mothers, don't we? [Clears throat] Now, when you were doing  _ Fringes,  _ you were also attending Newark Academy of Arts. How did that come about? You were just disowned, and then you somehow waltzed right into the country's best theater school?

Black: Yeah, basically. [Laughter from audience] No, really! I mean, my parents were pretty posh, so I was lucky enough to grow up with connections. And I had this uncle--hi, Uncle Alphard, I know you're watching!-- who helped me get into the school and paid for it. But it was  the family of my best friend, James Potter--[some applause interrupts] Yeah, him,  _ that  _ James bloody Potter, my most wonderful best friend. Anyhow, his family practically adopted me as their second son. They're responsible for getting me into  _ Fringes _ , actually.

Lockhart: No kidding? Isn't James Potter a professional athlete? What does he have to do with the film?

Black: [chuckles] He's a football player, yeah. Plays for Puddlemere United. [Loud applause from the audience] That's right, these people know what's good! Actually, I don't know shit about sports, but James tells me they're great. [Audience laughs] He's the only one in the family not in theater, actually--which is a bloody shame, because he's a  _ brilliant  _ actor. He has this face that can convince even the hardest of professors that he's perfectly innocent.

Lockhart: I've got a feeling that there's a story behind that, but I don't really care. [Scattered laughter from audience] Really, so they got you into the film? Just chatted up the director and said, "Hey, give this kid a part! You'll thank us later!" Or was there bribery involved?

Black: [shaking head earnestly] No, no! It wasn't like that, I swear! I got in because of my own talent! I'm brilliant! [More laughter] They're not into the movie business. The Potters are big on Broadway--gods, don’t you know anything, Lockhart? [Lockhart ducks his head in red-faced embarrassment as the audience hoots and laughs, Black looks smug] So they just got me to audition for the film.

Lockhart: [Still looking flustered] So, that was it, then? Not Broadway?

Black: Wasn't for me. Or James, apparently.

Lockhart: You don't think you'd ever do it, then? Do something on the stage, I mean.

Black: I haven't thought about it. Maybe. 

Lockhart: Well, you never know. I'm seriously sorry, Sirius, but our time is up. Go and see  _ Westward  _ in theaters when it comes out on the 17th! Sirius Black, everyone!

[Loud applause, Black and Lockhart laugh and banter as the show comes to an end]


	2. Chapter 2

Not long after Sirius went on Lockhart's show, Marlene finished her tour with her band and came home. Without even consulting him or Lily, she made the big announcement that she and Sirius were over. Or, more precisely, she admitted in an interview with  _ The Quibbler _ that she had never been dating Sirius Black, because she was, in fact, very gay and very happily engaged to a woman. It somehow ended up doubling the sales on her album, and her fanbase was already begging she and the band go back on tour again.

Apparently, lesbian punk-rockers had it much better off than gay punk-wannabe actors.

Sirius had been very happy for her, though and even did a few interviews about it (with Lily's permission), but it was bittersweet. He still didn't get to come out or find his prince charming or anything wonderful like that. If anything, things got worse. His fangirls were blowing up over the fact that he was now  _ single. _

He hadn't left his and James' flat in three days, and he had wiped his phone and given it to a homeless person because he didn't want to be bothered. He hadn't gone on television or checked the internet, and if an incessant number of fans happened to find his home and knock on his door, he ignored it.

This was a problem, he knew. The film would be out in theaters in two more days, and he had the opening premiere of  _ Westward  _ to attend that night. But, so far, he was more in a mood to take advantage of James' absence for the day by moping about in bed, reading science fiction, and relaxing. He didn't want to get dressed to go be bothered at the red carpet.

He was enjoying a long soak in the tub with some candles and a lavender bath bomb when he heard a voracious rapping on his door.

_ Not again,  _ he thought. He was  _ not _ going to answer the door in nothing but a towel when there was a risk of fangirls outside. He wasn't in the mood to be molested, either.

Then, he panicked as he heard the door open, followed by loud footsteps.

"Sirius!" a loud and feminine voice called. "I'm going to get you if you don't come out!"

_ This is it,  _ he realized.  _ This is how I die. Death by murderous fangirl. I wonder if she'll try and sexually torture me first. _

"Goddammit, Black, why haven't you been answering my calls? Where are you?" the same voice called, followed by more stomping.

Then, he realized it was just Lily. It didn't quench his fears any, because she was more likely to murder him than any fangirl, and the torture would be a thousand times worse.

"In the bath," he replied faintly.

He heard the footsteps grow louder and then stop as she stood in front of the door, not opening it. "I hope you're in there making your skin nice and pretty for the red carpet tonight," she said, her voice muffled through the door between them.

"Sure I am, love," he answered, taking a moment to breathe in the steam from the tub. His heart was most certainly  _ not  _ trying to crack his ribs as it was beating in terror. He allowed himself to relax some.

It wasn't like she was going to break down the door or anything. 

"Right." He could practically see her scowl just from hearing her voice. "Have you picked out what you're going to wear?"

"Oh, I'm sure I have a dress somewhere I could pull off," he drawled, stretching himself out in the water. He was far too busy trying to relax to worry about that.

"You will  _ not  _ wear a dress," Lily hissed.

"Kidding, Lils," he sighed. He splashed at the water a bit. "And you're really killing my vibe. I know you're not trying to be homophobic or misogynistic or anything, but really. Liking men and not giving a shit about gender isn't hurting anyone. The ladies love it when I wear my eyeliner, after all."

"Oh my god, Sirius," Lily groaned. "I know you're in a foul mood, your fans are really being ridiculous--but you  _ know  _ why I draw the lines where I do. I love you, but I'm just trying to protect you."

"Then why are you throwing me to the hoards of screaming fans?"

"Oh, shove it, Sirius. Just get out, dry off, and try out the tux that I brought you."

"You brought me a tux? I'm flattered."

"Don't be. It's only because James told me what a lazy, incompetent mope you've become in the past few days. Are you sure you're not sad about losing Marlene?"

"Positive," Sirius snapped, rolling his eyes and trying to relish in his last few minutes in the water. "If she were a  _ bloke,  _ things might be different."

"Fine, I get it. You can survive tonight, though, can't you?"

"Hopefully. Unless I get mobbed by the hormonal fans who now know I'm single."

"You love the attention. Now,  _ get out of the tub." _

"Alright, you're right, I'm going. Give me a minute."

As he heard her footsteps walk away, he sighed and sunk deeper into the water, not quite ready to get out of the tub. He let out a hum of relaxation as the hot water went up to his neck.

"Sirius! I'm not hearing any getting out! Do you  _ want  _ me to barge in on your naked arse?"

He supposed that was his cue. Reluctantly, he pulled out of the bath. He supposed there was no avoiding the premiere.

Sirius had grown his hair out long for the second half of the film, and since then he'd decided he'd like it, and had yet to cut it off. Half of the reasoning was because he knew his mother would hate it, but he genuinely enjoyed it long for himself. 

Lily, before leaving him, had urged him to wear it down, like he had in the film. It would make him look "rugged" and "masculine."

But then Marlene had shown up with a basket of chocolates and his favorite hair products and had offered to do it up for him. So, of course, how could he resist? She braided a few strips and then did it all into a top bun (he would not call it a man bun, not for the life of him). They chatted about the tour and the press and how things were going with Dorcas and other nice, mundane things like that.

"I'm so glad to not have to attend this ridiculous thing with you," she chuckled as he was getting ready to leave. "The dresses, the limousines, the acting  _ straight...  _ Blegh. No thank you."

"What're you doing instead, you lucky gal?" he asked her with a bit of a sneer. He was quite jealous that she didn't have to go, really. He was also jealous that things had all turned out so well for her in the end. She had her girlfriend, her profits, and plenty of time to relax and spend said profits on doing fun things with her girlfriend.

Meanwhile, Sirius was single, had no free time, and nothing fun to spend his money on. 

"Stay in with Dorcas," Marlene answered. "I'd planned for movies and ice cream all night." She snickered cruelly at him, and added, "I'd invite you, but you're otherwise occupied."

"You know I love the attention, but tonight would be so much better staying in," he grumbled. 

"I know," she said, placing a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. "But you'll survive. Just think about how brilliant you look with your hair put up like that."

"Thanks for that," he replied with a laugh. "You sure you don't want to come to one of these again? You could bring Dorcas with you."

Marlene just sighed. "She's not quite ready for that," she murmured, sounding a little disappointed. "Doesn't think she's long enough into her transition to pass properly. I call bullshit on that, of course--she's gorgeous. But she's waiting till she's had the surgery till she comes out."

"Oh, of course," Sirius murmured. "When's she having the surgery?"

"Waiting for it to get approved," Marlene answered. "I'm paying for it with the money from the tour, of course, but she doesn't know that. Birthday surprise and all."

"That's brilliant, Marlene!"

"Quite. But, you've got to get going. Your ride will be here any minute."

"Must I go?"

"You must. Your carpet awaits you."

* * *

 

The whole event really wasn't that terrible. Yes, there were the screaming fangirls (and several fanboys) and the annoying reporters, but it really wasn't all that bad. He just kept his head on and imagined Lily was standing on his shoulder giving orders, and whenever a reporter asked a question, he would just shrug it off. 

Watching himself on screen wasn't too bad, either, even if the whole film seemed terribly dramatic looking back on it. As he watched the lines came back to him bit by bit. It was a wonder to him to know that none of the excited fans watching with him had the same memory and knowledge of each scene. 

It was good he had gotten out of the house, for the fresh air if nothing else. The after party wasn't that bad, either. Neither press nor fans were allowed into the building, and he got to see plenty of his old acting buddies.

He was also, admittedly, thrilled to hear that he was trending on both Twitter and Tumblr. He didn't see it for himself, of course, since he had gotten rid of his phone (Lily didn't need to know about that yet, though). His friend Peter, who was also attending the premiere, had shown it to him while they were sitting on beanbags in the back of the room, trying to avoid the rest of the party. 

"Look at this tag on Twitter," he snickered, pulling out his phone when no one was around. "It's all of your new hairdo."

Sirius looked at the hundreds of pictures of Marlene's style job and rolled his eyes.

#asiriuslymanlybun

"How creative," he scoffed, self consciously patting at his head. He didn't want to be known for that. 

"Selfie. Now. I want in on this action," Peter insisted, turning on his phone camera and holding it at arm’s' length. 

Sirius rolled his eyes and gave in, pulling a face with his tongue stuck out for the camera. The flash in the dark room blinded him a bit, and drew attention to them as well. He had been hoping to hide in the corner for a while longer, but it wasn't meant to be. There were people that he wanted to be able to avoid, after all. 

One such person being the infamous Severus Snape, an actor his same age who had also auditioned for the part in  _ Westward.  _ He would have done a good job, too, considering the more grave films were his area. Sirius was still amazed that he had gotten the role instead.

It wasn't that they were enemies, per say. They were just very, _ very  _ different people. And Sirius happened to find him disgusting. And slimy. And horrible.

It really didn't help that he was Lily Evans' ex. That was the only  _ real  _ reason Sirius had to hate him. They hadn't attended the same academy, or else Sirius feared their relationship would be much worse. He already couldn't stand  _ barely  _ knowing the man. 

So, while Peter was busy captioning the photo and posting it to Twitter, Sirius watched with a scowl as Severus Snape himself stalked over. He was carrying two drinks in his hands, and was dressed so immaculately that it was almost infuriating. His suit must have cost as much as the venue for the party.

"What's the star of the evening doing in the corner?" Severus asked as he approached, his voice dripping with contempt. "You should be out basking in your glory. Or, even better, getting drunk on the dance floor. There are several famous directors asking for you that I wouldn't mind seeing you scare away." 

Severus was, if anything, direct. There was no beating around the bush with him. They both knew they were the other's competitor. And yet, Severus still tried to act  _ politely.  _

"The Internets need to be appeased," Peter said without looking up, the screen making his face glow blue as he continued typing. "And  _ boy  _ are they appeased. Three hundred retweets already! They like your face, Sirius."

"And who are you?" While Severus said the rather offensive question in a cordial tone, he didn't seem very pleased that there would be another person to deal with.

Peter looked up and a smile cracked onto his face. He stuffed the phone in the front pocket of his jacket and stood up, taking both of the drinks from Severus' hands. That invoked a shocked expression.

"Peter Pettigrew," he said, sitting back down and passing a drink to Sirius. "I did a sketch on Lockhart's show a few months ago parodying your role in  _ The Henchman."  _ He took a swig of the drink that clearly wasn't meant for him and went back to surfing the internet on his phone.

Sirius had to bite back a laugh as Severus continued to gape like a goldfish.

"I suppose I remember your voice," Severus said tentatively, narrowing his eyes into a glare. "And I assume he's a friend of yours, Black?"

Sirius nodded and slung a casual arm around Peter's shoulders. "I knew him back when he was still doing stand-up," he said with a grin. He peeked over at Peter's phone and saw that there were already dozens of enthusiastic responses from from fans about the photo.

He had to admit that they were much less intimidating on the Internet than in real life.

Severus was still standing there looking displeased, and Sirius knew that he wanted to speak with him. The problem was that he was just so  _ cozy  _ on the beanbags, and he would either have to get up or compromise the peace and quiet of the corner by letting Severus sit with them.

Then again, the thought of Severus Snape having to sit on a beanbag in that suit  _ was _ rather amusing.

"Well, have a seat, old pal," Sirius urged, patting at the purple beanbag to his right. "You look like you could use a rest."

"I wouldn't want to rumple my suit," Severus replied, his lip curling ever so slightly.

"Oh, come on. That's your fault. Have a seat!" Sirius pleaded.

"We can share the drink," Peter added, waggling his eyebrows. "But only if you sit next to _ me _ instead." 

Severus' eyes widened minutely, but he chose the lesser of two evils and carefully settled himself into the purple beanbag next to Sirius. He shifted uncomfortably for a moment and tried to smooth out his trousers before eventually giving up and leaning into the wall.

"So, what do you want, Snape?" Sirius inquired, smiling wickedly at the other actor. "Are you here to boast about some superior role you've managed to snag?"

Severus rolled his eyes. "I don't know why you insist on such petty animosity," he said with a sigh, lifting his hands to inspect them casually. "I was just wondering what you planned to do next. There  _ are  _ several directors asking for you, you know."

"Why is that any of your business?" He wasn't even sure what he wanted to do next. And he certainly didn't want to discuss it with Snape.

"Listen, Black--Sirius," Severus said, his voice lowering a notch. "We're on the same level now. You've made it to the top. And now you're here, I think it's wise that we find a compromise."

"What are you saying?" Sirius asked. "You don't want me stealing any of the roles you're after? Are you scared, Snape?"

"Not at all," Severus replied evenly. "I'm just trying to remain professional. I wouldn't want anyone's career getting damaged." He flicked his hand out at some invisible spot in the air, and then settled them into his lap.

Sirius was bristling, feeling mildly threatened.

"Well, I haven't considered anything," he spat out, a bit harshly. "Here, why don't I go  _ talk  _ with some of those directors, and we'll see what happens?" He pushed himself off of the beanbag, getting ready to abandon Peter and walk away. He was worried about Severus following after him, though.

Luckily, it seemed that Peter had his back covered.

"Hey Snape," he heard him say. "D'you have a Tumblr yet? Why don't I show you how to make one? We can enable anonymous questions and  _ everything.  _ It'll be a real treat!"

Sirius snickered to himself as he walked away, still carrying Snape's drink. He set it down on the bar and hovered there for a moment. He had no fear of appearing awkward; it would only be a moment before someone approached him. It was his party, after all. 

Well, sort of. It was his movie’s' party. Close enough.

"Excuse me, Mr. Black?" 

Sirius smiled as he turned around to address the voice. He loved that it had gone from "Are you Sirius Black?" to instant recognition. Then again, it might have been in part because of the hairdo. 

"Yes?" he inquired, looking up at the tall man before of him. He wasn't anyone Sirius recognized. He had green eyes and short-cropped brown hair, and a very angled chin. He wasn't dressed in party clothes, either. Unless there was some sort of trend going on that badly-patterned sweaters and bootcut jeans were considered "party wear."

"I'm Frank Longbottom," the man said, extending a hand. 

Sirius shook it, certain now that he had no idea who the man was. He would have remembered a name like "Longbottom."

"Hullo," he said cheerfully, wondering how this man had gotten in, and what he could possibly want.

"Listen, I've got to be quick. I'm not exactly supposed to be here," Frank whispered, leaning in a bit.

"Well, that certainly explains a lot," Sirius replied, letting out a huff of laughter.

"Ha. Yeah." The man shook his head. "I can't believe I'm actually talking to you..." He trailed off, looking distracted.

"Do you need an autograph or something?" Sirius asked kindly. "I won't rat you out or anything. I totally respect your commitment here. Stick it to the man, yeah?" He laughed hesitantly. He was actually secretly concerned for a moment. If this innocent-seeming man had man managed to sneak in, what more threatening fans could infiltrate the party?

"Oh, no, sir," Frank said, shaking his head. "I'm here to ask you about a production. It's a really small thing, not usually your area, but my writer tells me you'd do perfectly for the part--"

"Who's the director?" Sirius interrupted. He was beginning to think that this was a very strange situation...

"Oh, ah, me," the man laughed, beginning to stutter. "It's not actually a film. It's a stage production. It's our first, actually, but we thought if we could get a big-name actor, we could make a name for ourselves, and--"

"Wait," Sirius cut him off again. "You're asking me, an A-List celebrity, to hop down to a local playhouse and devote myself to your first show?" It was a ludicrous suggestion. "How much are you planning on  _ paying _ me? Certainly, you couldn't top what any of the Hollywood directors in this room might offer."

The man lowered his head, and Sirius thought he must have been blushing with embarrassment.

"Well, we don't really have a budget," Frank admitted quietly. "I'm sorry. This was a really stupid idea. I don't know what we were thinking." He began to turn away, looking terribly ashamed of himself.

Feeling sorry for him, Sirius reached out. "Wait," he said. "Give me your card or something. I'll get back to you on it."

Frank looked at him with wide eyes. "Really?" he asked.

"Really. Before you get kicked out. There's a guard over there giving us the eye."

"Oh!" Frank scrambled at his pockets, and pulled out a folded piece of paper. "We don't really have cards," he admitted, stuffing the paper into Sirius' hand.

"One day, then," Sirius said with a smile.

"One day what?"

"You'll have cards," he answered, resisting the urge to laugh at this man's awkwardness. "Now, scram! Before they try and arrest you!"

Frank nodded, gave him one last awestruck smile, and ran for the door before anyone could catch him. He accidentally ran into Minerva McGonagall (one of the most successful actresses of the century) as he ran out, and looked as though he almost had a heart attack.

Sirius chuckled to himself and tucked the paper into his pocket.

He met with several other directors that night, but they all had big names and were working for the big screen. There were no official offers, but there was hinting and suggesting and even a bit of bribing. Horace Slughorn in particular seemed set on the idea of casting Sirius in some sex drama set in outer space (which he promised would be a  _ huge  _ success).

But in the end, none of the offers seemed very tempting. 

After an evening of evading questions and a few more impromptu selfies, he was tired. Returning to his flat and getting away from all the noise felt like heaven.

_ I need a break,  _ he thought.

He didn't think about the paper Frank had given him until the next morning.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey.
> 
> hey.
> 
> look who finally updated!

Sirius was on the fringes of sleep. Sunlight was threatening to pierce through his eyelids and puncture his rest, which was fitful at best. He was dreaming of an army of fangirls invading his home, harassing him and James as they ran up an endless staircase.

He was just about to slow and give up, allow himself to be trampled by the hundreds marching after him, when he heard his flatmate's voice rising above the noise.

"Have you seen this yet, mate? Severus Snape's got a tumblr!"

It was so outlandish, so  _wrong_ that it had to have been part of the dream. After all, it was coming from dream-James' mouth. 

"Oh, bloody hell, Sirius." 

Sirius felt hands on his shoulders, and he feared that this was the end. The fans had finally gotten to him. 

"Sirius! Wake up!"

He was being shaken, and the sunlight broke its way into his eyes, and for a moment, all he saw was blinding white. Then, he saw the brown-skinned face of James Potter surrounded by a halo of white.

"Did they kill us?" Sirius asked. "Am I dead?"

James rolled his eyes and slapped Sirius across the face, and then got out of the way. The skylight was letting in the harsh light of a surprisingly-smogless Los Angeles midmorning, and it was directly going for Sirius' face. He groaned and covered himself with his sheets.

"Nope," James said, and ripped the sheet off of him. "It is eleven o'clock, and you are getting up."

"What?" Sirius groaned, feeling the cool of the morning seize his limbs now that they weren't protected by sheets. "Does Lily have a day planned for us?"

"No, but I have something to show you," James replied, sitting on the edge of the bed.

Sirius sighed and sat up straight, swinging his legs off of the side of the bed. Every year, it was fun the first few weeks living with James, but now he couldn't wait for football season to start back up so James would go back to England and leave him the hell alone in the morning.

"What is it?" he demanded, looking over at James' Galaxy S7. He refused to buy an iPhone since they went out of date so quickly. Sirius, on the other hand, was quite loyal to his Apple products.

James unlocked the phone, and the Tumblr app immediately opened. Sirius rolled his eyes, expecting to see another football meme. He didn't know there were so many, but James managed to find every single one of them. 

But what he saw surprised him.

It was a selfie. 

Of Severus Snape.

He was half-scowling at the camera as if he had no idea how to use it. Sirius somehow doubted that he had never used a front-facing camera before, but that was what it looked like.

"Snape has a tumblr," James said. "And look at it."

"I'm looking," Sirius said, realizing that his eyes had gone wide.

The selfie already had forty-three thousand notes.

Sirius reached over and scrolled down. The next post was a selfie of Peter and Snape together. Peter's eyes were wide and he was fake-scowling like he did in his parody of  _The Henchman._ Snape, on the other hand, was smiling wide. 

It looked unnatural. Sirius didn't think that the man had ever smiled before.

"Creepy, right?" James asked. "I already reblogged it with the caption 'that's some @sixpenceee shit,' so don't worry. I've got it covered."

"You reblogged something that wasn't a gif of two football players tripping each other?"

"Novel, I know." James turned off the phone and stuffed it into his pocket. "Anyway, you best get up and get dressed. Lily's coming soon, and she won't be pleased to notice you're still in last night's eyeliner."

"I thought you said she didn't have a day planned for us!" Sirius whined. 

"She doesn't. She has a day for  _us,_ meaning her and I, and she will expect to see you up and dressed when she comes."

"What if we say I'm in the shower, and she doesn't see me at all?"

"She won't leave until she sees you, and you know that."

Sirius sighed and stood up. 

"Give me twenty minutes."

* * *

Sirius came down the stairs into the kitchen, expecting to find it empty. 

But Lily was sitting on top of the counter, and James was standing next to her, looking rather impatient. They had been waiting for him, it seemed.

"You look hideous," Lily remarked, getting off the counter and walking up to inspect him. She was a few inches taller than he was (and James as well), so she looked down at him. 

"Thank you," Sirius replied. "I try."

She shook her head and took a lock of his hair in her fingers. "Did you even wash your hair?"

"I don't need to do it every day."

"Black," she said, narrowing her eyes. "You're an idiot, you know that?"

"With pride," he purred, crossing his arms. He opened up the cupboard and fished out his favorite blue coffee mug, and then went for the coffee pot. It was almost empty; it always was when Lily was over in the morning. 

 _Probably because she gets up so effing early,_ Sirius thought. 

A few dregs swirled around at the bottom of the pot when he drained the measly remainders of the drink into his cup, so he rinsed the pot out in the sink before tending to his coffee. 

As he went to the refrigerator to retrieve his creamer, Lily cleared her throat. He ignored her, and dug through the contents of the fridge's top shelf, looking for the bright blue bottle of sweet, chemical goodness.

It wasn't there.

"Where's the goo?" he asked, turning around to face the couple.

Lily was leaned against the counter now, her arms crossed. James was to her side, shrugging innocently.

"Probably out of it," she said. "You haven't really been out for groceries lately."

"Isn't that your job?" Sirius tilted his head, giving her a sweet smile.

"Fuck off," Lily snapped. 

Sirius sighed, looking at his black, boring coffee with disdain. "James," he said, "will you be a doll and pick me up some caramel creamer when you're out?"

"You're turning into an American," grumbled James, rolling his eyes. "But, sure."

Lily cleared her throat again. "But before we go and  _run errands_ for you," she said, "I've a word for you, Black."

He groaned and took a sip of the coffee, swallowing it down more like medicine. He wasn't sure he was going to be able to drink it. "What now, Evans?" he asked.

She raised an eyebrow at him and gave him an expression that quite clearly said,  _You know what._

And, frankly, he probably did, but there was an innumerable amount of things she could be angry about, and he wasn't going to get himself in more trouble by listing any off. 

Lily waited a moment longer, and when it was clear to her that Sirius wasn't going to repent in advance, she glanced at James. He, in turn, sighed and turned around to hike back up the stairs to his room. He would come back down when Lily was done ranting, as usual, and he winked at Sirius as he left. 

_Good luck._

Sirius groaned and set down his coffee, abandoning it. "Go on," he said to her. "You don't have all morning."

"You haven't been answering your phone."

"That's been established," Sirius said. "You barged into my house yesterday because of it, remember?"

Lily grimaced and placed her hands on her hips. "You weren't answering when  _I_ called, so I told James to give it a try. And do you know what happened?" 

"I didn't pick up?" Sirius said, a little hopeful. He had a feeling he knew where this was going.

"You didn't," she confirmed. But before Sirius could sigh in relief, she added, "Someone else did, however. Care to tell me about that?"

He laughed. "It's no big deal, Evans," he said, scratching the back of his neck. He tried to look less nervous than he was, but he knew that Lily saw right through it. 

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Who has your phone, Sirius? And why did you block me?"

Sirius shrugged and looked away. He supposed he should have blocked  _all_ of his contacts when he gave the phone away. Then, this might have been avoided. 

Lily tapped her foot impatiently. "I'm waiting."

Sirius bit the inside of his cheek and considered his options. He supposed that the only way to go get through this particular situation alive was to tell the truth.

"I wiped it and gave it away to the homeless guy that likes to hang out by the dollar store."

Lily took a deep breath, and for a moment, Sirius thought he was going to make it out alive and unharmed. She was going to be reasonable, it seemed.

But that wasn't the case.

"Are you a fucking idiot?" Lily demanded, launching herself at him. "What if something happened? What if we needed to contact you? Why would you even  _do_ that? What do you think that man is going to even  _do_ with a phone? Sirius, could you possibly  _think_ for once?"

She continued to barrage him with questions, yelling in his face about his incompetence. He just stood there, stiff and uncomfortable, but unable to care. He knew that Lily only was angry for his own good, but he just wasn't feeling receptive. He didn't want to hear it.

After a few minutes, she realized she wasn't going to get to him.

"What is it, smartass?" she asked, looking more drained and less angry than she did when she started.

"I'm fine, Lils. Really."

Crossing her arms, she shook her head. "Are you really, Sirius?"

"Nothing happened, so yeah, I'm fine."

Lily raised her eyebrows. "Not what I meant," she sighed, calm now. "You've been acting strange, you know that?"

"Sure." Sirius shifted himself. "I'm tired, Evans. You know that."

She nodded. "I know," she said. "But you just have to wait. Things will work out, I promise." 

He was silent, watching her with pursed lips. She took a deep breath, and they watched each other for a moment. 

Behind Lily, Sirius saw that James had snuck down the staircase, and was lurking on the bottom step, watching them. He cleared his throat, and Lily gathered herself.  

"Well," she said, picking up her purse from the counter, "James and I will be out today. Just relax a bit, Sirius. I'd tell you not to answer any calls without me, but there's no point in that." She shook her head. "Have a day or two to yourself, and then we'll work on finding your next job. Half of Hollywood probably wants you now."

Sirius smiled, only halfheartedly. "Have fun," he said.

"Don't do anything stupid while we're out," Lily grumbled, narrowing her eyes. 

"Bye," Sirius said.

She grunted and made her way out of the kitchen and to the front door. As she left, James lingered a moment. 

Sirius raised his eyebrows at him. "You better follow after her," he warned. "She's in a short mood today."

"It'll be fine," James laughed. He bit his lip, silent for a moment. "Take care today, alright? Just be good to yourself." 

"Of course," Sirius said. He frowned at his friend's concerned expression. "What's got you all soft today, Potter?"

James shrugged. "Lily, probably," he chuckled. "You've been a bit off lately, she's right."

"So I have."

"I'll talk to her," James said. "We'll find a compromise. You shouldn't have to hide yourself like this."

"James." Sirius paused, and then laughed. It was bitter, incredulous. "Don't worry about me. You're both acting strange today. Lily was only irate for a few minutes, and--"

James cut him off. "Shut up, alright?" His voice was soft, but there was something sharp in his eyes that made Sirius nervous.

"Alright, James."

"Good." He cleared his throat again, crossed the kitchen, and patted Sirius on the shoulder. "Do what you have to, okay? Do something crazy, but don't hurt yourself." The pat turned into a grip, and he looked him in the eyes.

"What is this, a send-off?"

James smiled at him, gave a tiny nod, and then turned away. He made his way to the front door, and Sirius watched him, unnerved and curious.

Just before James was out the door, he looked over his shoulder, and any gravity had left his face. He grinned and said. "Better get going. Lily won't be waiting much longer." 

He laughed and darted out the door.

Sirius was frozen for a moment, baffled and slightly afraid. He stared at the shut door, listened to the quiet apartment, and shook his head.

"Those two are insane."

* * *

An hour or so after Lily and James had left, Sirius found himself with nothing to do. He'd already had breakfast, used his laptop to send Severus Snape some creepy anonymous messages on Tumblr, and watched YouTube clips of Lockhart's show from the night before. He didn't feel like leaving the house, and he had no one to talk to inside of it.

Grudgingly, he decided he should at least do something about the messy state his room was in.

His sheets were in an ugly pile at the head of his bed, his closet door was wide open, papers he didn't remember were cluttering his desk, and last night's suit was crumpled in the middle of the floor.

He opened the window, letting in some "fresh" city air. The Los Angeles sky was, as usual, smoggy, and he decided to only let things air out for a few minutes. It was warm out, being spring, and that only added to the strange fever inside of him.

James and Lily were right, of course. He was acting off. He was feeling strange, terrible in some cases, and the only word that could really describe his attitude was "stuck."

As he made the bed and tidied his desk, he realized that it wasn't just that he was tired of the public image he had to maintain. He was sick of the lifestyle, of the job. 

Fame and glory had always been what his parents wanted, and he had long since decided that their ideals were the last thing he wanted to align with. 

He felt silly thinking it, but maybe it wouldn't have been so bad to live a simpler life.

He was grateful for everything the Potters did for him, for the good life he had led so far, but maybe it wasn't right for him.

Yes, he had just entered the stage as an A-List actor. Sure, he was only at the beginning of his career. 

But it didn't feel right.

The apartment that he and James shared was hardly more than modest, and it was pleasant. He had always insisted that he do his own housework, and in that way, he had been trying all along to live a normal life, hadn't he?

He didn't really know.

His life with his birth family was extravagant, and his life after being supported by the Potters wasn't entirely different.

Maybe he needed a new perspective.

He realized that he had stopped working, and he was staring at the floor. He saw his suit was still in a mess on the floor, and sighing, he went to picking it up. He supposed he would have to get it dry cleaned...

As he tried to straighten it out, he noticed something sticking out of one of the trouser pockets. 

A piece of paper.

And recollection swept over him.

He quickly pulled out the paper, smiling to himself at the memory of the frumpy, young Frank Longbottom. Unfolding it, he saw that it was nothing more than a letter typed up on Microsoft Word.

> _Sirius Black,_
> 
> _If you're reading this, the odds have already been defeated. It was beyond improbable that someone of your stature and position would even take the time to read this, so don't take it comedically when I say that I'm fairly confident I might have a chance._
> 
> _Well, in all actuality, I have nothing but doubt you're even looking at this, but I'm writing from the perspective of another me_ _that knows you're reading this._
> 
> _So, because you're reading this, and you most certainly are, I have an offer for you._
> 
> _I'm a playwright. I have a story that wants to be told, and I think that having you involved will make that happen._
> 
> _I'm not naive, but I am hopeful. I've been writing this since I was a teenager. I had you in mind for one of the lead roles back when I started writing this; I saw you in_ Fringes  _when I was just starting out and I haven't let go of the idea. After everything that life has thrown my way, I've learned that it never hurts to try._
> 
> _So, I've included my phone number. Call me if you're even in the slightest bit interested, and I'll tell you more about the story and the part._
> 
> _My friend and director, Frank, should have gotten this to you at the premiere, and judging by that timeline, he and I will still be in town for a few days if you want to talk in person._
> 
> _Thank you for your time._
> 
> _\--Remus Lupin_

For a moment, Sirius stared at the page and the phone number listed at the bottom. He wasn't sure if he was in shock or not, but something told him that it was a sign.

He wanted something different, didn't he?

 _Guess I have to get a new phone,_ he thought.

 


End file.
